Merry holiday season kindred break-up friends! Time to celebrate that your X picked one of the suckiest AND jiltiest times of the year to dump you! But rather then wallow in heartache we’re gonna turn your ho ho hurt into one of the holliest jolliest times of the year! In fact we’re going to give the X- in X-Mas new meaning by celebrating the fact that this X-Mas your X has given you the best present you’ll receive: Your Sense of self ‘n sass back!
To do this I’ve put your X-Mas Boyfriend Cleanz into a holiday edition break-over starting with your DETOX: Six ways to help get you through the initial shock, hurt, self-pity and desire to be naughty not nice. And, you’ll do it without being arrested, going bankrupt, entering rehab or witness protection! Here you go!
- ENJOY A DETOXIN’ RETOXIN YULE-TIDE COCKTAIL: Tis the season to paaaar-ty. And you can detox as you retox to balance the toxins, hurt and anger in your heart, body and mind with this yummy holiday cocktail!
- 1 Lemon (alkalizes the bod ‘n flush out the liver)
- 2 pinches turmeric (purifies liver ‘n antioxidant)
- Pinch fresh ginger (improves absorption of nutrients)
- Tiny pinch cayenne (bolsters metabolism)
- 8 oz cold or hot water
RETOXIN’ OPTION for Water
- Jigger Vodka or tequila
Squeeze lemon into a wine glass or mug. Add turmeric, ginger, ‘n cayenne Fill with water or Retox shot! Garnish with lemon wedge.
- BRING JOY TO YOURSELF: Ok, I’ve shared this Rita Rudner quote before but it’s one of those quotes that keeps on giving and is oh so true: “I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don’t know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I’ll break up with someone on purpose.” Retail therapy soothes the sole not to mention how fab you’ll look! TIP: Bring cash or debit vs. credit cards to avoid the lack of joy from paying it off for the next 12 months!
- BE NAUGHTY: Put those sexy stilletos, lil black dress and hot shade of lipstick on and go celebrate your freedom with your BFF’s. Be flirty, dance, do a karoeke serenade of Eartha Kitt’s Santa Baby to a cute guy. Have fun! Just be safe ‘n sure there’s a designated driver or Uber’s on speed dial.
- DECK THE HALLS WITH HIS STUFF: Pour a cup of hot chocolate versus wine so you don’t turn this into a melancholy walk down memory lane. Leave no nook ‘n cranny unturned since any remnants of your X will trigger tears, hurt, loneliness and cravings for too many Gingerbread cookies. Give his stuff to charity. Exception: jewelry particularly if it’s an engagement ring. Sell it and indulge in new bling. Tra la la!
- MAKE YOUR OWN FROSTY X-MAN—Before you ‘donate’ his stuff use it to showcase your inner snowman building talent! Invite friends and make it a fun activity! Take pix of your masterpiece and share them (we’d love to post them and your break-over story on Boyfriend Cleanz) Then take aim and throw snowballs at your X-MAN. Tres therapeutic!
- DELITE IN A SILENT NITE–Enjoy time alone and indulge in a chamomile tea bath which according to my buds at Red Door Spas is a wonderful soothing healer. Simply pour a quart of boiling water over 4-5 chamomile teabags. Let them steep and cool for at least 15mins. Remove teabags and swirl tea into your drawn bath. Dim lights or light candles. Play holiday music. Glass of bubbly optional but highly recommended!