After 7 years of ups and downs and downs becoming more frequent than the ups, I finally got it through my head that even if this relationship was working for him….it wasn’t working for me. And that is OKAY! I was still a good person even if I didn’t want to sit there and hear him babble on about what I don’t, didn’t and won’t do. So after a year of therapy and practice pretending the therapist was him, I told him, just like that, this isn’t working for me and I am not happy and I want you to move. as soon as you can find a place. Phew! He took it pretty well…..let’s just say better than I thought. I don’t think he believed me at first but after a day or two he figured it out that I meant it. Once he was out I turned the music up and danced naked through my house…..my beautiful house. I burned sage and when my anger got really bad I played and sang at the top of my lungs “Earl’s gotta Die”, better known as Goodbye Earl by the Dixie Chicks. I had tears but mostly anger. I could not believe I didn’t believe in myself enough to realize this relationship was toxic and to have ended it years earlier. But I have learned and grown and I know better now. I trust my instincts and listen to my inner voice. I haven’t meet the one I want to be with “forever” and I am okay….actually happy with myself and being alone. That may change but for now life is fabulous.